we are pretty sure she would go by "grandma chris." that's the family consensus anyways.
and I'm positive I would celebrate her today by taking us to get pedicures together.
but I wonder if I could talk her into getting her toes done. I remember her having nail polish and occasionally having painted nails. but I never remember her toes painted.
and then we would go out for italian food. all of us.
and I wonder if she would love or hate the orange lipstick I am wearing today.
and I wonder what her favorite kind of birthday cake would be. I remember trying to make her a chocolate cake on her birthday when I was much younger, but we were out of eggs. so I called my grandma and she told me I could substitute mayo for eggs. it was so not good. but I don't ever remember asking her what her favorite kind of cake was. would she love salted caramel as much as I do.
and I wonder how we celebrated her 44th birthday. we didn't know it was her last one with us. I didn't take mental notes. I wonder if my memory will ever give me the gift of recalling that day. I so pray it does.
and I wonder if she would understand how messy my floor is most of the time. especially today. if she ever had a messy floor? I always remember our floors sparkling clean growing up.
I know she can hear my boys singing "happy birthday grandma chris" up in heaven. but I wonder if I will ever be strong enough to sing along. until heaven.
Happy Birthday Mom.